The mentor in me
Growing up in the UCCH it was a little difficult to not be tripping over mentors. :) Thankfully, I have had many not only at UCCH, but also in school and especially at Peace College. Lately I have been thinking of all of you. The ways in which you have impacted my life, and the way in which you empowered me to come to Lebanon and discover more about myself.
What brought on these memories and thoughts of all of you was a conversation with my Mother. I was questioning my ability. Am I strong enough to do this? As I said, my whole life I have been surrounded by mentors, people I could look to for guidance. But being here means that I have to look to myself a little more. I have to trust my instincts and I have to trust God. This isn’t always fun by the way. It’s important, I realize this, but I don’t have to like it. It is much easier to ask someone else who has gone through a similar experience for his or her advice. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ask for advice, but I guess it is part of that beautiful balance in life to learn some things on your own.
Anyway, going back to my conversation with my Mother, I was questioning my ability and myself. She of course responded by saying that I had people at home supporting me and that I wasn’t alone, but I think the main point of this conversation was that I don’t want to be the first one to do things. I like the idea of following someone else, having someone to hold my hand. I know this sounds very childish, but I get scared. What if I am not qualified for this? What if I am not strong enough, especially as a woman? Not to dismiss my wonderful male mentors, because you are all wonderful, but I have also had some incredible female mentors. I believe this includes women at the UCCH, and at Peace College. I look to you in awe. You have accomplished so much. You seem much stronger than I am, and, honestly, I am intimidated. What if I am not as strong as you are?
Thankfully, I have found a community here in Beirut. And I am realizing, slowly, that I look to some of my friends as mentors. I don’t remember doing that as much when I was at home. (Friends at home that does not mean that I don’t think you are amazing people :) ) Because most of my friends here are ex-pats, we share similar experiences. So I am able to look to them for help, guidance, and just as people I can talk to about my experiences. So I guess my skill for identifying mentors has served me well. However, now I know that I need to find and trust in the mentor in me.
What brought on these memories and thoughts of all of you was a conversation with my Mother. I was questioning my ability. Am I strong enough to do this? As I said, my whole life I have been surrounded by mentors, people I could look to for guidance. But being here means that I have to look to myself a little more. I have to trust my instincts and I have to trust God. This isn’t always fun by the way. It’s important, I realize this, but I don’t have to like it. It is much easier to ask someone else who has gone through a similar experience for his or her advice. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ask for advice, but I guess it is part of that beautiful balance in life to learn some things on your own.
Anyway, going back to my conversation with my Mother, I was questioning my ability and myself. She of course responded by saying that I had people at home supporting me and that I wasn’t alone, but I think the main point of this conversation was that I don’t want to be the first one to do things. I like the idea of following someone else, having someone to hold my hand. I know this sounds very childish, but I get scared. What if I am not qualified for this? What if I am not strong enough, especially as a woman? Not to dismiss my wonderful male mentors, because you are all wonderful, but I have also had some incredible female mentors. I believe this includes women at the UCCH, and at Peace College. I look to you in awe. You have accomplished so much. You seem much stronger than I am, and, honestly, I am intimidated. What if I am not as strong as you are?
Thankfully, I have found a community here in Beirut. And I am realizing, slowly, that I look to some of my friends as mentors. I don’t remember doing that as much when I was at home. (Friends at home that does not mean that I don’t think you are amazing people :) ) Because most of my friends here are ex-pats, we share similar experiences. So I am able to look to them for help, guidance, and just as people I can talk to about my experiences. So I guess my skill for identifying mentors has served me well. However, now I know that I need to find and trust in the mentor in me.
posted by Ruth at 4:52 PM
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